Halloween is the most wonderful time of the year! What better way to celebrate this spooky holiday than to blast off on a mind-bending journey of self-actualization? Of course, you'll need some help from the most magic of mushrooms. In this week's story my experience at a Halloween party alters the course of my life.
Episode 18 - Stripper Rash
Strip clubs are great! I know they're not for everyone, but for me they contain an air of seediness that I enjoy. It feels like I'm somewhere I'm not supposed to be, or like I'm getting away with something. Not all of my visits have been all sunshine and rainbows though. In this story you'll hear about a strip club experience that should have but me off of them for good, but I'm glad that it did not.
Episode 17 : Back to the Future Past Tense . . .
It's always interesting to learn what inspired someone to pursue a passion, or choose their life's path. In my case, a fictitious character pretending to play the guitar made me want to become a real rock-n-roller! You know that new story you're looking for? Well listen to this!
Episode 16 : Arkansas Piss Fest!
When you're a band on the road you rely on the kindness of strangers to help you out with things. Sometimes it's food, or drugs, or even a place to stay. In this episode, johnwayneisdead find themselves in Arkansas getting a heaping dose of piss-soaked hospitality.
Episode 15 : First Time High
Hi, everyone! Today I got really high, and thought back to the first time I took part in the ganja. What a time it was, and what a path it has sent me down to this day. Like it or not, it only feels like the first time the first time.
Episode 14 : Sage Advice
Everyone has a person in their liife who has the right advice you should always take, but you most of the time don't. That person for me is my good friend Nick P. In this story I examine the importance of some advice he gave to me, and how badly I wish I would have taken it.
Episode 13 : Bathroom Buddies
If you play in a band it's a sure bet you'll have your share of bad gigs. Sometimes it's your own fault, but other times the surrounding circumstances are beyond your control. When these gigs happen you have to take into account the 'little things' that make it worthwhile including chance encounters with strange, bearded men in a bathroom.
Episode 12: Eff U Harvey
Hurrucane Harvey hit Houston two weeks ago, and it's impossible not to know someone affect. This week I keep the story topical telling of how I myself weathered the storm as well as other experiences during the storm. Houston Strong!
Episode 11: Bark Park
A trip to the dog park is always a special treat for the pups. There are new dogs to pal around with, and new asses to smell. Unfortunately, the owners have to come with the dogs, and while most dog people are awesome some are assholes. Take a listen to this story to find out which one I am . . .
This episode is dedicated to the best dog ever, Lebowski. He was my best friend for over 11 years, and he recently passed a few days before this recording. Rest in Power Lebowski!
Episode 10: 420 Miracle
Every good stoner knows the significance of the number 420. It's one of those things that's kind of childish, but still celebrated by smokers from all walks of life. In this story the weed gods focus their powers on your hero to bestow many coveted blessings upon me. Now, if I only had a better memory . . .
Episode 9: Yellow Rose Boner Exploder
Going through puberty can be like having an undiagnosable disease. The symptons vary and never fail to throw you for a loop. While experiencing this 'change' myself I would sprout mega-hard surprise boners all the time. This is the story of one of those said boners, and the yellow rose that pushed me over the edge.
Episode 8: B.F.F.s
Friendship is defined differently by everyone, but the friendships that come about due to some absurd or unusual shared experience tend to be the strongest. At least that's how you might have to think about it after this story. Fond out the origin of JW and Kris Jett's friendship, how they came to be Awesome Dudes 4 Life, and the importance of being Millhouse.
Episode 7: The Not So Great Escape
In the reckless abandon of our youth we tend to feel invincible, unstoppable, and un-catchable. I felt this same way myself when I tried to allude the Huntsville Police Department back in my days at good ol' Sam Houston State University. And i would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling . . . oh fuck it. I'm just dumb as hell.
Episode 6: You're the Worst!
Some art isn't for everyone, but that's what makes it great. Right? In this story, JW finds out the hard way some people don't share this opinion. One man at a Letters to Voltron show long ago let JW and Robby C know just exactly what he thought of their 'art'.
Episode 5: Porn In the Woods
What can easily be said to be a 'dying media' there is no doubt finding porn in the woods is slowly going the way of the buffalo. In this story JW waxes poetic about a simpler time, and a mind opening encounter with the human female vagina.
Episode 4: Hundred Dollar Napkin
In John Wayne's grand tradition of making poor decisions he takes his act on the road to the City of Lights. That's right, our story this week takes place in Las Vegas where JW finds himself on the losing side of the table except he decides to gamble outside of the casino . . .
Episode 3: French Exit
To master the art of the French Exit one must fully understand and respect it while preserving its integrity above all else. Don't take an Irish Goodbye on this one as JW tells of how he learned this gentle art from the master himself.
Episode 2: Caught
We've all been caught with our pants down from time to time. This particular time there were no pants, and an important friendship becomes hilariously compromised.
Episode 1:Don't Be That Guy
On the first ever episode of John Wayne Lied to You, John Wayne almost set back legal marijuana by decades. Will Our hero win against his highest foe, gravity?! Tune in the find out!