I've been playing in bands for twenty years, and while the perks have been great there's nothing like the privilege of an 'All Access Artists Pass' to really ruin you for normal life. This week's story follows Kris Jett and myself of johnwayneisdead on an all access adventure through Houston's Free Press Summer Fest courtesy of Jack White and his magic guacamole recipe.
Epiosode 28 - SuperUnboned
When a celebrity dies it seems like everyone in the world needs to weigh in via social media making a spectacle of who can cry the loudest thereby taking attention off the death of the person, and putting it onto themselves by expressing to how much that person meant to them. This week's story isn't about a dead celebrity though. It's about a girl, music, and the experiences in life that stick it in, break it off, and build some character along the way.
Episode 27 - That Bitch Tried to Poison Me!
What a time it is to be on tour! This week I recount a tale from johnwayneisdead's first long-ish tour in which we break a cardinal rule, and get a little too tipsy on the first night out. Our one-time road manager, Bobo, tries his luck with the ladies, and I maintain to this day I was actually poisoned by one of those very ladies.
Episode 26 - The Best Worst Christmas Ever
The spirit of the holiday season should not be something relegated to only a few short weeks. We should be trying to help each other out at all times regardless of what the calendar says, or how many poinsettias we happen to be surrounded by. It took me a pot of soggy wieners and a good friend to realize this myself. What a time for the Holidaze!
Episode 25 - See You at the Crossroads
Kris and I ran into some trouble trying to find a practice space in Denton the day before we were going into the studio to record the new johnwayneisdead record. Luckily our new friend Bianca saved the day by letting us play in her drag bar that Sunday afternoon. It's an Easter miracle, and the birth of a new tradition!
Episode 24 - Why You Trippin'?
I like to party, and there's nothing wrong with going hard every once in a while as long as you know your limitations. However, the two of those things aren't mutually exclusive, and no one is taking stock of themselves in the midst of a good time. In this week's story I put those things to the test, and was glad I had new and old friends around to help me out.
Episode 23 - Funny Money
When your weed dealer always has top-notch product, and delivers to you without contact or conversation the last thing you want to do is rock the boat. Unintentionally paying said dealer in counterfeit money is a sure fire way to not only rock that boat, but sink the shit out of it. Not the best circumstances under which to meet for the first time face to face, but it could be worse. Right?
Episode 22 - Yes, We Are Worshiping Satan in There
I'm back fresh from another Bizarrocon with love in my heart, and stories in my head. This week's story happens to have taken place last year at the con where myself and my cohorts freaked out some squares. Plus, the tarot readings keep tying together, or at least in my head they are. Hail Satan!
Episode 21 - Shit Job
When you're under sixteen and need to earn some loot there aren't many avenues available to pursue. I found myself in this predicament at age fourteen when a pair of shoes became the object of my obsession. With my dad's help I landed a gig mowing our neighbor's lawn, but the result was absolute shit.
Episode 20 : I Walked With a Zombie . . .
My good friend 'Lando' and I have gotten into some scrapes and scraps while attending concerts over the years, but somehow always managed to come out on top. This particular tale is debatable as far as who came out on top, or why . . . but the devil is in the details, so judge for yourself!
Episode 19 - Halloween FunGus!
Halloween is the most wonderful time of the year! What better way to celebrate this spooky holiday than to blast off on a mind-bending journey of self-actualization? Of course, you'll need some help from the most magic of mushrooms. In this week's story my experience at a Halloween party alters the course of my life.
Episode 18 - Stripper Rash
Strip clubs are great! I know they're not for everyone, but for me they contain an air of seediness that I enjoy. It feels like I'm somewhere I'm not supposed to be, or like I'm getting away with something. Not all of my visits have been all sunshine and rainbows though. In this story you'll hear about a strip club experience that should have but me off of them for good, but I'm glad that it did not.
Episode 17 : Back to the Future Past Tense . . .
It's always interesting to learn what inspired someone to pursue a passion, or choose their life's path. In my case, a fictitious character pretending to play the guitar made me want to become a real rock-n-roller! You know that new story you're looking for? Well listen to this!
Episode 16 : Arkansas Piss Fest!
When you're a band on the road you rely on the kindness of strangers to help you out with things. Sometimes it's food, or drugs, or even a place to stay. In this episode, johnwayneisdead find themselves in Arkansas getting a heaping dose of piss-soaked hospitality.
Episode 15 : First Time High
Hi, everyone! Today I got really high, and thought back to the first time I took part in the ganja. What a time it was, and what a path it has sent me down to this day. Like it or not, it only feels like the first time the first time.
Episode 14 : Sage Advice
Everyone has a person in their liife who has the right advice you should always take, but you most of the time don't. That person for me is my good friend Nick P. In this story I examine the importance of some advice he gave to me, and how badly I wish I would have taken it.
Episode 13 : Bathroom Buddies
If you play in a band it's a sure bet you'll have your share of bad gigs. Sometimes it's your own fault, but other times the surrounding circumstances are beyond your control. When these gigs happen you have to take into account the 'little things' that make it worthwhile including chance encounters with strange, bearded men in a bathroom.
Episode 12: Eff U Harvey
Hurrucane Harvey hit Houston two weeks ago, and it's impossible not to know someone affect. This week I keep the story topical telling of how I myself weathered the storm as well as other experiences during the storm. Houston Strong!
Episode 11: Bark Park
A trip to the dog park is always a special treat for the pups. There are new dogs to pal around with, and new asses to smell. Unfortunately, the owners have to come with the dogs, and while most dog people are awesome some are assholes. Take a listen to this story to find out which one I am . . .
This episode is dedicated to the best dog ever, Lebowski. He was my best friend for over 11 years, and he recently passed a few days before this recording. Rest in Power Lebowski!
Episode 10: 420 Miracle
Every good stoner knows the significance of the number 420. It's one of those things that's kind of childish, but still celebrated by smokers from all walks of life. In this story the weed gods focus their powers on your hero to bestow many coveted blessings upon me. Now, if I only had a better memory . . .