Episode 59 - I Hope You Brought Your Chops Son

The ancient art of karaoke is as appreciated as much as it is despised. I, however, am a lover and celebrator of the craft. This week I tell of a time I celebrated it hard in fabulous Las Vegas Nevada! Robby C joins me for this caper of glitz, glamor, and Neil Diamond. 

Episode 58 - Scares That Care 2018 Recap

I'm back from my second Scares That Care, and I'm bustin' to tell you all about it. It was a great time, a successful con, and super, bad-ass! I'm already excited for next year!

Episode 57 - I Didn't Come Here to Hear Your Shit

Ever had someone in a bidding war over you? Me neither, except for that one time I did. This week I tell of how I cut my chops doing solo gigs, and all the crazy shit that came along with it. The important thing was the seed of never giving up was planted with help from a drunken stranger.

Episode 56 - All Hail the All Inclusive

All inclusive resorts are great! You can eat and drink all you want because you already paid for it, and you'll be goddamned if you don't consume your money's worth. This story is about the first time I went to an all inclusive resort, and all the great decisions I made while there. If you've never been I suggest using this as a cautionary tale.

Episode 55 - The Taming of the Shrew in my Pants

Shakespeare has never been my favorite, but I tried to convince myself I liked him back in high school when I was a 'serious actor'. Thanks to some lazy costumer I was forced to take the stage in only tights at a time in my life when I lacked the balls, metaphorically and physically, with which to do so. But, the show must go on!

Episode 54 - The Golden Pu$$y

Bachelor parties are great! Friends are great! But chanting, chanting is awesome. This episode is about chanting. Oh, and the story of Kris Jett and the magical, floating, mystery bachelor party.

Episode 53 - Hey Baby! Can I Have Your Insurance Information?

As you know, distractions come in all forms. If you are able to successfully navigate those distractions you are more likely to succeed. Or, you can make an unprotected left turn while checking out a girl's ass without looking at all for oncoming traffic, which is a form of success on its own. Good Luck I say. Good LUCK! 

Episode 52 - Happy Birthday! Now, Who Lives Here?

Holy shit the show is one year old! To celebrate I keep it tried and true, and stick to what works with a story about another momentous birthday, my 21st. I think the take away here is cops hate paperwork.

Episode 51 - Hey Daddy-O, Have a Day!

When someone falls down it's funny. It just is, and don't try to tell me otherwise. When it happens to be your father who falls down, well that's just downright hilarious! To celebrate all the fathers falling down to keep us amused I tell a tale this week of my own dear old dad, and his penchant for funny falls.

Episode 50 - Printers Row Recap, Wieners.

I just got back from my first time at Printers Row in Chicago and what a time it was! In this episode I recap the experience of selling books in the rain along with all the salacious details from the weekend. Have you ever been to a Korean spa? I have now . . .

Episode 49 - Hey Man, Art is Not Your Bitch

So, this past weekend I had a pretty gnarly experience with some audience members at a solo acoustic show I played. Of course, you know your old Uncle Johnny couldn't wait to purge the thoughts on the experience into the microphone for you lovely people. I encourage performers to listen to this, and give feedback on how you would handle this kind of situation. Just for the record, I regret nothing!

Episode 48 - Pinecone Grenades and Why I Hate Axl Rose

It's been well documented that I am a lover, and most certainly not a fighter. I did, however, engage in one single momentous fight while in elementary school. This is the story of that fight, and a Guns and Roses poster.

Episode 47 - My Adventures at Days of the Dead Charlotte 2018

I'm back fresh from thirty plus hours of driving to Charlotte and back so I could let people know the good news about . . . well, about myself! In this episode I recount the adventures along with the experiences, and the new things I learned from this con.

Episode 46 - Forest for the Pubes

This week I talk about how the best calendar ever set me on a wondrous journey through life, La Bamba, and boobs. Mind the hair pie, it's time for another first!

Episode 45 - Grandmothered to the Mob

This week I tell a tale of my dear, sweet grandmother and how she loved to pass the time by playing the number. What's 'playing the number' you ask? Well, you'll have to listen to find out. Just make sure you keep it in the family.

Episode 44 - This Bud's Tattoo!

This week I tell a tale of a mystical, red-bearded weirdo who had the first tattoo I'd ever seen. After this experience my life was put on a course that would lead to hours and hours under a needle jamming ink into my skin. 

Episode 43 - Confessions of a Scaredy-Cat

I love horror, but when I was a kid it scared the bejezzus out of me! I was afraid of anything the least bit related to monsters or evil, and now I can't get enough of the stuff. Love that evil! Anyway, I started thinking about the origins of this fear and tried to figure it all out in this week's story. Hail Satan!

Episode 42 - You're Not a Sheriff!

And you never will be with that attitude! We've all pissed our pants, but has someone else pissed your pants? Is it possible you just poured sewer water down your pants before going to bed? Have you ever jumped in the pool with your jeans on? Call out the Sheriff, because we've got some piss related mysteries that need to be solved!

Episode 41 - The Retainer (Sparkle, Sparkle)

I was a theater kid who participated in those long and lovely, time suck events of most weekends called Speech Tournaments. At one such tournament I was accused of skirting the rules set in place for me regarding my recent ear piercing, which resulted in my expulsion from said tournament. One of the many times I actually didn't do what I was suspected of, and therefore lost my mind over it. Enjoy!

Episode 40 - The Day I Used Up All My White Privilege

So, I narrowly avoided complete disaster yet again, but this time the reason wasn't so easily explained away. Find out my theories on just why I didn't get arrested that fateful night, and learn what you should more than likely avoid doing in your car if your sticker is expired.